Because you have ruled in tyranny over me,
Because you have refused to be empty at all times,
Because you have consistently up-heaved my evenings,
Because you do not always get every dish clean,
As any good and decent dishwasher should.
I hereby declare my utter independence from you.
Now that I am free, I will never use your racks again.
I will let the dishes stay in the sink, mocking you.
I will cease vacillating over what detergent to buy.
I will use paper plates and cups to cause you to be jealous.
I will eat out more often to cause you to be lonely.
I will hire a maid to handle your incessant needs.
Eventually, I will replace you with a robot that not only cleans the dishes, but puts them away neatly in my cupboards.
I hereby declare myself completely and fully independent,
Undersigned,
Kathleen E. Dunlap
